Righty ho folks, i'm not even going to try and justify how rubbish I have been at this whole website up dating thing.
But hey its now 2011 its early Jan, we all have our new years resolutions still freshly in mind, so obviously this year is going to be the best year ever,we are all going to be super pro-active and do all the stuff we never managed to do in pervious years etc etc.
So with that in mind I decided to head down and check out illamasqua, (Alex box's newish range of 'night time make up for your alter ego.)
The idea being that I would casualy stroll in looking fabulous and ask if they had any jobs going, present my C.V which of cource they would be so over awed with they would offer a position on the spot, (prefrably firing some poor hapless assistant to make room.) I would then quickly climb the ranks, become Alex Box's new best friend, eventually kill her off take over and launch my own make up brand MWA HA HA HA!!!!!
Alas it didn't quite work out like that, to start off with the whole looking fabulous part caused some problems, because while its one thing to create weird and wonderful looks on other people, when it comes to myself and make up I have to admit I'm rather set in my ways, so I could'nt quite figure where I was going with it all, the end result was rather disasterous, a bit like an extra from the movie party monster! ARGH!!!
3 attempts, many face wipes and watery eyes later I gave up and went with my normal make up, went to the computer to print out a C.V only to find that my computer is compleatly buggered, and being as I'm the most untechnical person in the world ever theres not a whole I can do about this. BUT I do have a memory stick it does have an old C.V I can got to the libary update it, print it, it'll all be fine, except of course the libary turns out to be closed, and in these days of blackberrys and ipads where we are supposed to have computer technology at our finger tips 24 hours a day, can you find an internet cafe when you need one? No you fucking can't!
Still I was not to be deterred! I got on the tube to Oxford Circus, boldly elbowing tourist out of the way I even got a seat. I came out the other side clutching my oyster card to my chest, I swiped the barriers and came out in Regents street, I paused briefly grimacing at the icey tempartues then I bravely clasped my coat around me and strode on through the madding crowds untill I reach Beak street, the crowd thinned I saw Illamasqua ahead! (from the outside it black and looks a bit like a sex shop) I went inside, it's very nice and clean and shiny, I thought I have would a little bit of a browse first, I went up to a display of lipsticks, they looked very nice, they also happened to have a ltitle mirror next to them, I glanced in it.... I hadn't realised how much the cold had been making my nose run, FUCK!! not good, fortunately they happened to have a box of tissues handy - Thank god!
I reached over, causing my nose to tilt, causing a large green dew drop to fall on to illamasqua's beautiful white make up counter, the shop assistant looks in my direction SHIT!!! I grab a tissue wipe it up and head for the door as nonchalantly as I can possibly manange................ I ended up spending extortionate sums of money on tea and cake in libertys to calm nerves, The best laid plans and all that!
Putting make-up on people since 2010